FOOTBALL: The Perfect Start

It would be easy to get lost in the excitement of having the Premier League back on our screens and one 5-0 victory under the belt, but after a mixed summer (some inexpensive quality signings, but several key players leaving/or wanting to) this is the best possible start for Fulham. Despite this wonderful start, for me, the goal is still the same; avoid relegation first and foremost and build from there. That being said, there is nothing wrong with lapping up the team being top of the Premier League for the sheer token value of it. It's rare for a club of Fulham's stature to be sitting atop the league, and even if it's after a single game, it's still a smug grin inducing affair. Especially with the troubles big Martin Jol is having with want away Clint Dempsey and seemingly big clubs looking at Moussa Dembele too. 

It would not surprise me if they both left. They are both terrific players and no doubt could cut it at a top 4 team. Dembele in particular is quickly becoming one of the finest talents in the Premier League and a big move is only a matter of time. And at only 25, his best years are definitely ahead of him. As fond as I am of Clint Dempsey (and even despite his apparent disappointing behaviour), it will be a shame to see him go, but a necessary one. His personal ambitions have outgrown the modest clubs secure environment (or his desire to move to a 'bigger' club at least) and from that moment, he has to go. It's not good for the team morale or any of the younger talents the club has coming through to see Dempsey's behaviour and think it's an acceptable means of forcing a move. Despite all this, Clint has been a terrific player for us and have been a pivotal player for us and given the club some of his finest displays. I wish him all the best at whatever club he goes to. But now, back to Saturday and the wonderful 5-0 thumping of Norwich City. Absolutely terrific stuff. Mladen Petric may very well be one of the signings of the season if he is half as good as his performance Saturday suggests with two well taken goals. Youngster Alex Kacaniklic also gave a good account and is definitely a talent in the same vein of Kerim Frei. Bryan Ruiz will have to have a big season to fill the boots left by Dempsey (and possibly Dembele) and surely his second season with the club will be a more consistent one. It would be easy to get carried away with this win, but it must be said that Norwich had a shocker and that the next 37 league games won't be anywhere as easy as this and with a trip to Old Trafford to come next week against a no doubt fuming Manchester United team after their loss at Everton Monday night, the team will do very well to sneak something from the game.

A good start to the season then. We have lost quite a few squad players this summer with the legnendary Danny Murphy leaving, as well as players like Dickson Etuhu and Andy Johnson, so hopefully Jol can strengthen the squad further before the transfer deadline closes and keep Dembele and build a team around him. United in four days time at Old Trafford will be a completely different game altogether and I except us to be firmly brought back down to reality. But for the meantime, we are officially top of the table!

EURO 2012: Ireland vs. Spain preview

The comfortable 3-1 defeat to Croatia in the opening game of Ireland's Euro 2012 campaign was a shock to some in Ireland. Inside 3 minutes of our first international championship in 10 years, we were brought back to reality with one dodgy header that trickled in. On an RTE poll, 86% of those who text in thought we would actually beat the Croatian's (a team who are currently ranked 8th in the FIFA rankings). Excuses were made, but the stone cold truth is that we're just not that good and Croatia, despite not being all that much better, could do the basics better and took advantage of our slack defending to punish us.

The current world and defending Euro champions Spain present us with an even greater threat, but more importantly with a surprising opportunity. Depending on which Spain turns up; the one that wants to play some football or the one that wants to have a whine and a moan, there are two possible outcomes. The first is; the Spain that has won all the major international tournaments turn up and we are thought a footballing lesson, where only a miracle of biblical proportions could defend us from being destroyed by a potent Spanish attack. Not being unfair to the players who are representing us; but players like Stephen Ward and Stephen St. Ledger (who has done terrific and scored a great goal against Croatia) who has had limited football time at his club Leicester City (not even a Premier League team) is worrying and up against the likes of Xavi, Andrés Iniesta, Cesc Fabregas. In the game against Croatia, we saw Ireland giving the opposition too much space and if that trend continues against the Spain, it could very well be a long night.

The second (and slightly less likely event) is that we get at the Spanish back four. In our favour, the Spanish defence is far from solid and there is definitely room to get amongst them and give them some hassle and put them under pressure. Seasoned veterans like Robbie Keane and Damien Duff are good enough to keep the Spanish defence busy and carve out a few chances. But these chances will be few and far between as Spain will no doubt have the majority of possession and will dominate from the off. A possibility and likely to happen will see us crowd the midfield and have two banks of 4 in front of every Spanish move and then attempt the counter. Glenn Whealan and Keith Andrews will have to have extraordinary games and have utmost discipline to keep them at bay. And possibly if the Spanish grow frustrated and their fans start getting on their backs, who knows? As seen in the Champions League this season, the best footballing teams don't necessarily mean victory. Even at that, as remarkable and astonishing it would be to see Ireland get a result against Spain, going by what we have seen in the first game, it is not all that likely of happening. But we can still all dream. Fingers crossed.

EURO 2012: Ireland's Euro 2012 vision

Ireland made it to their first major football competition in 10 years with an emphatic (yet unsurprising) demolition of Estonia in the play-off decider. What awaits us in Group C is another monster completely. The might of Spain and Italy mixed with grit and underdogs Croatia who have sprung more than a few surprises in their time. Realistically, our hopes of progress rely firmly on the Spaniards contracting the Ebola virus (even at that, I predict a 1-1 draw), the Italians withdrawing from the competition altogether after reports of several squad members betting accounts have offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands and the slight chance that Croatia is assimilated back into Yugoslavia and embrace love over the violent and conflict-filled game that is football. But if that doesn't happen, how will Ireland's adventure to Poland and the Ukraine go?

Our opening game versus Croatia will basically decide our progress beyond the group stages. A win against the tricky Croat's will no doubt build up confidence to immeasurable levels and the Spanish and I-talians will no doubt crumble at the mere sight of WHELAN and ANDREWS, a partnership that makes the tiki-takaier's Xavi and Andrés Iniesta look like schoolboys (size wise anyway). On the field however, I would expect Spain to dominate possession. As they inevitably do. Always. However, as boring European Champions Chelsea exhibited against the cool teams like Barcelona and Bayern Munich (or as I always prefer to call them; FC Bayern Munchen, rawr), boring football bores the opposition into submission. Chelsea's reliance on long-ball Jackie Charltonism may have worked a treat against Barca and Munchen, and could well do so again against the handbag carrying Spaniards, but how will it work against those dastardly I-talians?

Charltonism: Jack explains route one football to an unfortunate player

Traditional Italian football standards in the group stages suggest a slow start and a great finish (usually over-performing to levels that generally consist of finishing as Semi-Finalists or winning it). But based on their slow start and overly defensive set-up against out overly defensive set-up, don't be surprised if the scoreline ends up something like -1 apiece. So, based on my calculations of our results from those first three games will leave us with something resembling 9 points or thereabouts, which would give us a slight chance of making the Quarter-Finals. This means France or England (or ideally Sweden or Ukraine, but this is a serious article so we'll keep it that way). Both France and England seem like tantalising revenge jobs. The English, perpetual Quater-Finalists and hazy after heavy partying for the Queen's Jubes will only field six players due to injuries, excuses and hangovers while the French will receive 7 red cards for continuously handling the ball (clichéd I know) and will eventually forfeit in embarrassment as super-sub Paul McShane scores a 70-yard screamer. 

Paul McShane: Thundering lummox or footballing superstar?

After making it that far, I assume the greatest challenge to our European domination will be the Germans and the Dutch. The Netherlands will be as fiesty and competitive as they come. Tackles would fly in and cards will be shown at will. The deciding moment of the match will be a clash between Irish member of the Night's Watch Richard Dunne and Dutch warlock Nigel De Jong. After extra-time, Dunne finishes De Jong off in a brutal submission maneuver that renders De Jong's loins void for the rest of his life. Win via submission and IRELAND ARE IN THE FINAL. But against the Germans. A force so powerful in European football they stole it from 1933-1945. A final of terrific spectacle, some of the finest football ever to be seen will be played on this night. Silky Mario Gomez versus the now world class and £54 million quid rated Paul McShane is the battle of the century. But with all the talent on display, it's a shut-out 0-0 at full time. Extra-time breaks Irish hearts with the introduction of 57-year old powerhouse Angela Merkel. As shown on numerous occasions before, The Irish teams inability to deal with the lofty German enforcer costs us dear. But despite falling at the final rotund German hurdle,  it will be a great tournament for the Irish. Beaten finalists is nothing to be ashamed of. Neither is conceding multiple sucker punches to a 57-year old German lady. As they say, that's football. Bring on BRAZIL in 2014 where the Irish team will have the pleasure of watching in Ireland.

Angela Merkel: 114 goals in 21 German appearances.